I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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