is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
