I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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