We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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