Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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