My pussy is not your playground.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
