did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
