Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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