just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
