I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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