I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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