Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
