im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need to calm my uterus...
COCAINE IS GR8
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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