I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
