i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him