Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.