I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.