You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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