I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
