Where did you get a picture of my penis
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
