dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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