This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
