he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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