Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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