oh god the rape fog is back!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
