i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
