ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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