is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
