oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
