Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
