i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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