I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
