if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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