it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
