She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Im part way to drunk.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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