dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
