next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
