He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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