So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize