YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just high enough for therapy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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