Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
