i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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