Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
