She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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