What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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