THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
