he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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