You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
