I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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