Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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