I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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