tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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