So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize