and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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