hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
