You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize